and now i am home from the chemo lounge…

 

the first thing i noticed on my calendar that today is the first day after the new moon and the first day of the hindu goddess festival navaratri. the festival celebrating the 3 different powers and aspects of the divine mother, the goddess. the first 3 days are dedicated to durga. warrior goddess. indestructible. fights to eliminate human suffering. this is a time to clear sacred spaces, your body, your home, your altar, letting go and “burning out” what is not needed during this trans formative time. how very timely. i do so love when my life follows the story line of the grand mythical opera that i see it to be…

 

very interesting day in the medical machine as well. the staff is incredibly kind, knowledgeable, personable, enthusiastic about their work.  cutie pie volunteers, and a man with a precious terrier named duncan who makes the rounds for people to pet on him. big windows and great light, although the beds all face away from the windows. unfortunate, but lots of stuff needs to be plugged into the wall which makes moving the bed not possible. i managed by catching glances over my shoulder all day to watch the wild witchy weather and brilliant light. that breathtaking fall light.

 

i was there from 9-4. an hour of blood taking, weighing, measuring, meeting with my oncologist who i really like even tho he looks like he’s 12. then, fitting my port with a needle so that my iv could be hooked up. i have this sci-fi device installed under my skin on my left side. the size of a quarter and hard and raised. each time i come in, they insert a needle into this and the run the juice right in. this saves your veins and also enters right over the heat where it can be dispersed in a speedy and more direct fashion into the body. i refer to it as my “borg port”…yes, i know now kung fu…

 

multiple bags made their way thru my veins. saline to start. herceptin. anti nausea meds (3 i believe) then the taxatere and the carboplatin. each one gets its own bag. it’s own hour. then a saline flush, a palette cleanser before the next course.

 

my love and my mother went with me and hung out for awhile and then i shooed them away. i was fine. i read. i wrote. i had two friends come by. a woman i had not seen in a few years was in there as well. for treatment. lymphoma leukemia. looking for a bone marrow transplant donor and is looking at 100 days in a seattle hospital for surgery and recovery. i am ever humbled by  my situation.

 

i am ever bolstered by the stories, the smiles, the laughter, the joking. it is a rather festive place to be. so much bravery. so much being forced to rise above, to clear out to “burn up”. use this gift of cancer to allow us to look and dig deep into ourselves and see what treasures we excavate.

 

left feeling sleepy, dopey and saturated. feel better now, but being still. going to bed to read and marinate. day one….

 

*p.s. felt i needed to explain my use of words in my post this morning “drinking deeply”….of my inner world, NOT drinking deeply…that was another life….

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