Valentine’s Day is a luscious nipple of Venus (notice I use the singular?) nestled between the winter solstice and the spring equinox. A yummy sweet spot on the calendar full of playfulness and the promise of spring just around the corner.
It is the child like memories of the holiday, not the grown up ones fraught with expectation and disappointment, that make me swoony for Valentine’s.
Earliest recollections involve Elmer’s glue paste, blunt edged scissors, red construction paper, doilies and glitter. The squeak of patent leather Mary Janes and the rasp of cable knit tights on knobbly grade school legs. The cloying chalky scent of pastel Brachs candy hearts and Hershey milk chocolate kisses. White lunch sack mail bags taped to the fronts or our tiny desks. When dinosaurs roamed the earth…
It was silly, playful and a time to try on the word “love” as in, “ I love my friends! I love my dog! I love ice cream! After grade school, you could give yourself a hernia from all of the heavy lifting associated with “love”.
I personally am pretty sure that relationships give you cancer, but that is for another post…
Ditch the idol worship of a singular other, and find the sweetness for yourself and the wide bandwidth of ways in which you love all of the people in your life.
*Make a valentine or two. Or three, or twelve. I love making valentine’s. Old school. Glue, scissors, pretty colored paper, images, words. Don’t make a list or even feel you need to give every human you know one. Make as many as you feel drawn to make. Pleasing creative project of love, not laborious task. Think about the person you are making them for as you make it, Or as you write in a store bought card. Put the energy of how you appreciate the ways they contribute to your life Or don’t even make cards, do nothing but draw or cut out heart shapes on pieces of paper, thinking about the people you are thankful for. I swear to god it lowers your blood pressure. The Zen of Making Shapes.
Make one for yourself. Seriously.
* Get yourself some flowers. A single stem or a dozen. The kind of flowers you really love, not what you are told is the “traditional flower of the love language”.
I am a tulip girl myself.
A bouquet of flowers lasts about a week and should make you smile every single time you look at them, unless you have no soul. A nice bouquet is super cost effective when you factor in the number of smiles it will elicit over that course of time. Do it.
Wander the streets and give flowers to people you meet, or hand deliver single stems to loved ones.
*Have a fabulous glass of champagne. Don’t like champagne? That sucks for you.
*Savor some kick ass chocolate. No waxy milk chocolate crap, unless you like that, not that I am judging, but I am,… a little bit. Again, quality not quantity. Sea salt, caramel, Mayan chili, nipples of Venus. If you need a pair, by all means have two. They are small.
*Go for a walk. Outside. No matter what the weather, tip your face to the sky and breathe deeply searching for the scent of spring. It’s there. Lurking like a faunish surprise.
Valentine’s day makes my mouth water with sensory saturation. Geranium reds, Peony pinks, deep raspberry, ruby red grapefruit, creamy coral tulips and roses so red they are almost black. This color vortex, the sweet tender heart shaped curves, the bite of a crisp cold glass of champagne, the dense sweetness of the darkest chocolate. The underside of my skin feels lined with cashmere, so snugly am I in my own arms.
Now, do any combination of these activites any time of year on a random, surprising yet regular basis and don’t wait for someone to do it for you. Keep things spicy with yourself.
You are worth your own attention. I know I am.